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im afraid...
Contributed by
visualizing_life
on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 09:40:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
im afraid
afraid of loosing you
afraid of messing up my life
afraid that ill always be like this
and afraid that ill bever fully be me
i always say:
"love never you've never been hurt"
well its crap
i cant do that
nobody can do that
we're afraid of getting hurt again
everyone around has been hurt so bad
i dont like that kind of pain...
i cant control it
Copyright ©
visualizing_life
... [
2005-01-26 21:40:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: im afraid...
(User Rating: 1 )
by tractorbabe on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 10:03:30 PM AEST
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| yea i know wat u mean |
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Re: im afraid...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 26th January 2005 @ 11:36:23 PM AEST
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| has potential. needs more effort. needless to have afraid that many times in your first stanza. in your second stanza. "never love; never hurt" sounds better and makes more sense. the use of that at the end of those two lines, shows lack of creativity, but an attempt to get meaning or power into the stanza. your third stanza is okay, but its not powerful or emotional. i guess it can be meaningful. this poem was supposed to show emotion of being afraid, and it hardly showed it at all. |
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