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Change
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 09:55:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I step into this world
From God knows where,
Complaining about this place.
Crying everyday
Till its too much to bear.
Tears streaming down my face
But itll change someday.
Someday, I pray,
That things will go my way.
For this, I pray.
Make my way through the world,
Home towards my back.
Complaining about today.
A love lost or never was,
For the looks I more than lack,
I cant help but say
It will change for me someday.
Ill find the right words to pray.
It will change for me some way.
For this, Im willing to pray.
I prepare to step onto a world,
God only knows where,
And things have yet to change.
Life spent complaining,
Happiness too much to bear,
It was up to me to re-arrange.
It wouldve changed someday.
It wouldve gone my way,
If I didnt only say
For this, I pray.
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-01-28 09:55:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Change
(User Rating: 1 )
by marshmalloska on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 11:07:06 AM AEST
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| A powerful message and well worded. Aalthough i cant help but think the kind of people your trying to reach wont be reading this message. Catch 22 eh =) |
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Re: Change
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 11:28:03 AM AEST
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"Home towards my back. "
I didn't understand that. I also think that your ending petered out, weakly, where you should have hammered your message of procrastinating regret home more fully. Perhaps another stanza might to the trick, but its long enough already . . .
Just a suggestion. |
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Re: Change
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 06:10:16 PM AEST
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Great message here. Especially relevant for me, since I'm in the process of getting ready to step out myself. Words we need to hear.
Andrew |
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Re: Change
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 10:17:04 PM AEST
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| so emotional and so well written. i loved it even better the second time. change, it seems like everything i wanted to stay the same has changed, and everything i wanted to change, stayed the same, and i still waste my life. its good to see some philosophy, wisdom, and emotion in a poem, such a rarity these days. |
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Re: Change
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 03:22:42 PM AEST
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This was a phenominal poem Marc! I take back what I said before about my favorite poem I think this could be it! Great ending and I love the similarities between second and fourth stanzas and yet the differences in them as well.
Spectacular job!
--amanda-- |
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