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The Dream
Contributed by
StarViolet
on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 03:57:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
All I can do
All I can say
There is nothing
More that can stop me
All my strenght
All my power
I will climb
To the top of the tower
At the very tip
There will be a message
Please dont Trip
Or you will be a death page
1000 miles high
The fear in my face
What if death comes
At a very fast pace
I can hear all the angels
I can hear them yelling
"Soon you will be falling"
As I am going down
I am thinking of what i have to do
Then all of a sudden
I wake up out of the blue!
Copyright ©
StarViolet
... [
2005-02-01 15:57:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfman on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 04:59:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"I do hate falling dreams." lol
dreams forshadows reality and reality forshadows dreams. at that moment when you have reached your end there is noting you can do because you dont want to but with all you energy you will take your life and at the top there is no one to hear but the angels but sadly they can do nothing in our dreams just make us think , then we leap and as the ground meets us we finaly decide we dont want to. then we wake up. that is the beauty of dreams it showes us what we do and dont want to do just pay attention.
I liked this one, the aspect of dreaming your suicide is something iI havent done before. I do hope that thias is just a dream though. hope to read you again later.God bless
wolfman |
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Re: The Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 09:36:46 AM AEST
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Interesting write, i like the dreaming of ones suicide, gives a dark underlining in the write which is really nice, i also like the fantasy element inside the write, the 'angels yelling' and the tower '1000 miles high' also really give the piece a very polished feel to it
One wonders though at the message the dream gives, climbing to the top of this tower to only jump off at the end, maybe you feel that no matter what you do, it isnt worth it in the end, the angels almost chanting your demise, maybe people giving you a lack of encouragement and even through all of this you still realise what you have too do, wake up, or maybe, proove them wrong?
Then again i maybe totally wrong and its about something totally different, the quality of interpretation i guess hehe
Hanging upside down Gutted with a broadsword
Luke
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Re: The Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bones on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 08:48:04 AM AEST
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hmmm...my comment was also gonna be long...but, the other two already said what I was going to say. this is a very good poem. I love the rhyme scheme. keep up the good work.
Much Love,
Bones |
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