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First
Contributed by
sarahgordon
on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 10:11:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
"So fall"
he said
but this comes later.
First, the thrall.
First,
alone.
Then not, then light,
then weightlessness.
the all-consuming
the beautiful addiction
drawn from deep waters
into deeper night
I couldn't help myself -
the stars called to me
with promises of eternity
and love
frozen and divine.
sinking
again
it pulls me under
it fills the holes
the water,
black with ashes,
absorbs your fires.
the lights taunt,
they do not win.
And yet,
you have sewn your way in.
you are every cell.
you cannot be unstitched.
you wonder why
why the current didn't wash away the debris.
Without cobwebs I am bare
and bare I am open
and open, I am the pit
into which you wish to fall.
But you will not.
The blinds are pulled.
The lights turned off.
Take your business elsewhere -
we are closed.
Copyright ©
sarahgordon
... [
2005-02-01 22:11:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First
(User Rating: 1 )
by O7NeVeS on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 10:20:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Congrats on ur first poem, and welcome. I'm definitely no poem critic so I'm not going to critique ur poem, but I did enjoy reading it! Keep it up! TD |
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Re: First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 10:28:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good write. Welcome to YPDC. I lookin forward to reading many more from you. :-) |
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Re: First
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 11:22:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hi..nice write.. |
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Re: First
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 07:43:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
It's just beautiful, its brillaint and for a first this is really special. Good for you on this fab write.
Welcome to YPDC.
Jane x |
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