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Silence
Contributed by
eternalnight4x
on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 09:34:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Sound is held captive within my mouth.
Words are taboo to my lips.
All is restrained within my depths,
as I lie idle to the world.
Sounds to which you are deaf
I am able to hear
All to which you are blind,
I own glasses to see
That to which you are oblivious
I am able to know
Copyright ©
eternalnight4x
... [
2005-02-06 21:34:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by cocacola1331 on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 09:55:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Isn't 'brute' like, what you would call a person? Not like an adjective, but isn't it a noun? "You are such a disgusting brute!" I'd call football players brutes. I think the word you were searching for was "brutal". This poem seems a bit awkward, it doesn't seem to flow together as well as your others... like, "All to which you are blind, I own glasses to see... That to which you are obvious I am able to know." They just don't seem to mesh together appropiately. I don't know, it's difficult for me to explain.
I like how its kind of secretive, the them that is, it makes the reader think. Kind of hard to get though, if you didn't provide the title. |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by tam on
Sunday, 12th September 2010 @ 08:57:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like this poem. Something about glasses doesn't fit .That's the only thing I found that didn't sound right. The rest IS poetry. GOD BLESS! |
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