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Imprisoned
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 05:19:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Smeared black ink
Ebony words from my dead heart,
Tears from my dry eyes
A half-told tale,
Lost in the endless ocean of my salty sorrow
Incessant echoes of past phrases,
Repetitious flashbacks of my horrid lessons,
With the dreadful Master,
Father
Iron fists pound on my already battered body,
Rage clear in your eyes,
I flinch as you lift your hand for another round,
And you laugh with maniacal glee...
You love to see me lose,
You love to watch me squirm under your piercing gaze,
You love my agony,
But you don't love me...
I hide in my corner,
And crawl back into myself,
Where everything is better...
A world without you...
A stubborn cloud of past memories hangs over my head,
And I weep crimson tears...
Lost forever in recollections that I thought I had banished long ago...
Like a shadow, it follows wherever I go,
Menacing tears tease, and hidden anguish resurfaces...
I drown in my own insnity,
Too far down to be saved...
I am imprisoned within myself,
Locked within the corners of my corrupted mind...
The Master haunting me forevermore...
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-02-07 17:19:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Imprisoned
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfman on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 07:52:37 PM AEST
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the emotion is this is astounding, you potray your thoughts of anger and apin with such calm unoffensive words, it reads as if you have made peace with them but they are stil there as you say haunting you just know that the only weay to get rid of them is to confront them but do it carfuly for they can still harm you but be bold dont give in and they will submit to you in time, dont hide in yourself that is what they want, yes it is some times needed but not all the time and not to long. be strong and dont give up.
wow, this was a very emotionaly good one it told alot with very powerful words, I also liked the flow ver smooth. keep up the good work. God bless.
wolfman |
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Re: Imprisoned
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 07:00:53 PM AEST
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I agree with Wolfman. I think he had some great insight about dealing with pain such as this. First of all, I think you expressed yourself so elequently in this poem. It's like you have already confronted this pain, and dealt with it. Your voice sounds mature, especially when dealing with something like this. (I am so sorry) But the fact is that wounds never leave us, and they will resurface at their own will it seems. And it looked like to me that this is what happened to you. You were hit with a wave of the aftershocks, and you did the right thing, which is to get it out, and express your emotions.
Smeared black ink…
Ebony words from my dead heart,
Tears from my dry eyes…
A half-told tale,
Lost in the endless ocean of my salty sorrow…
Incessant echoes of past phrases,
Repetitious flashbacks of my horrid ‘lessons’,
With the dreadful Master,
Father…
I think this is my favorite part of the poem. "Smeared black ink"----I love that description so much. It says so much about your emotions,without you even directly addressing your emotions. It just has it's own energy that is strong, and bold. I also like the "salty sorrow" part. It was clever to use that with the "ocean" scene. Your poetry never ceases to amaze me, not only because it is well written, but because of the truth and sometimes brutal honesty that resonates throughout all of your poems
Be True,
zenmind |
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