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Bloodless Veins
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 10:00:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Bloodless Veins
You darken my life
With your existence
You shatter my heart
With your resistance
Let me take you
To where you've never been before
It's where only I can hear your screams
And can decimate your dreams
Let me take you
Behind the bedroom door
Where you'll join all those I adore
Let imagination be forgotten
And your screams be remembered
Be your begotten lover
I'll take you
Like you took me
To Hell
I hold the three nails
And you hold nothing
But me
As I nail you to be
Forever a part of me
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2005-02-07 22:00:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 10:06:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"I hold the three nails
And you hold nothing
But me
As I nail you to be
Forever a part of me"
I like that... it was so unexpected. Good stuff. |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 10:45:09 PM AEST
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Very graphic Jinnifer-- Nice touch at the end
Clark |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 11:42:19 PM AEST
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eeh creepy I loved the imagery it was bloody
and disturbing. A truly great write you held me
with every word.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleeding_Nightmares on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 11:45:49 PM AEST
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| Vivid deep and written with dark emotions, excellent poem. |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 02:36:13 AM AEST
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an excellent write.
I throughly enjoyed it
Great ending |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 07:46:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your last line is awesome..All about our endings hun..A sharp write a very good feel I got here..Dark and amazing..Sweet kitten. |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 02:29:28 PM AEST
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This is so beautiful
vivid and deep. |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfman on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 03:35:48 PM AEST
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truly a dark and sad poem, I saw that there was an emotional conection with the other person in this, but not recipricated, and taking your last advances to make it work. This is very depictive of one actin on there desires to be with some one taking them making them part of them, mabye, even rapeing them. all thoughts aside this was desterbingly good.
this was a surprisingly good poem I saw deep emotin in it I liked how you ended it "...As I nail you to be Forever a part of me." very good, please do post again. God bless.
wolfman |
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Re: Bloodless Veins
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 11:53:23 PM AEST
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| This poem pulled me in and shut me behind the door. I felt all the strong emotions. Good one. |
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