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Fishy Prospects
Contributed by
Psyche
on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 09:02:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
1.
Lunch of Sashimi
I obsess about the future
of Haruspicy
2.
Prophecies of Doom
Vibrant doll heads arch their brows
The morning newscast
3.
The spelling homework
Thoughts of playtime after school
Again she forgets
4.
Red, Angry Mountains
Abandoned long ago by youth
This can't be my skin
5.
Changing underclothes
Internal clock ticks to his delight
Must be ovulating
6.
Missing something, still
Can pepper be my season word?
No, that's seasoning
7.
I am drunk with bliss
Eyes watch him move, stand, closer
Intoxicating
8.
Longing to touch you
Boundaries shall not be crossed
I use only words.
9.
Ideas run short
I try and purchase yours
"Inspiration sale"
10.
Unattractive prose
Demanding less of tired mind
Beauty sleep awaits
Copyright ©
Psyche
... [
2005-02-08 21:02:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 05:18:18 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
No.5 was just plain intriguing.
Some are out of meter, like No.9 - but I like the idea behind it.
keep writing. |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 01:30:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I really like 4. I think that is just ... whoa. And I am with Neptune on the idea for 9 ...
Possible revisional suggestions ...
Ideas run short (?)
Might I purchase some of yours?
Inspiration sale (?)
Just random thoughts ....
Nazzy ~
Way to meet the challenge !!! |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 03:18:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Red, Angry Mountains
Abandoned long ago by youth
This can't be my skin
This was great! I think you handled the challenge well. I enjoyed reading this. |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 12th February 2005 @ 10:25:02 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I love number 4 and 8. Great job. Not bad at all for your first time writing haiku. |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 12:22:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Gosh... I'm not sure which I liked the best. As soon as I settle on one... another pulls at me.
Overall, nice job meeting with I personally thought was a particularly challenging challenge. : )
~SNM~ |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 06:42:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You show all the signs of a clever mind. I am amazed by these!! |
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Re: Fishy Prospects
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Sunday, 13th March 2005 @ 03:56:13 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This is a great poem. I love every verse! |
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