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Room (4 Corners)
Contributed by
Xnoybis
on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 04:52:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Hello Depression You'll reside there Please take your spot In the appropriate chair
Forgive if I wander I have many guests I'll get you eventually I promise my best
Welcome Sadness Please take a seat I'll see you briefly When I kick up my feet
Forgive me if I'm slow I have many guests You'll have me soon enough I promise my best
Greetings Isolation There is your spot I'll be with you shortly When I catch my thoughts
Forgive the hesitation I have many guests You'll have your moment I promise my best
Good evening Regret I thought you'd forgot Please have a seat Over there in your spot
Forgive my half-attention I have many guests We'll discuss history I promise my best
Welcome old friends You'll each have your say We'll wrestle each other `til night gives to day
Copyright ©
Xnoybis
... [
2005-02-09 04:52:20] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Room (4 Corners)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Arsenic on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 05:38:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wondeful! Depression, Sadness, Isolation, and Regret...all invited in to be wrestled throughout the night. I love the thought here, having been there from time to time. I like how you put this together.
Recommend you eliminate the use of "spot" for one of them... made me pause in the reading to go back to the first use. Just a suggestion. :-)
ARSENIC |
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Re: Room (4 Corners)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rhymingron on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 06:55:33 AM AEST (User
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Very interesting. Good write. |
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Re: Room (4 Corners)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 11:30:56 AM AEST (User
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Puts me in mind of the way they manage medical offices these days - allowing only just so much time for each patient. :-) Which, in the case of these feelings seems to be a good idea; goodness knows we shouuld allow more time for the "welcome" guests like satisfaction, caring, etc. Your metaphor is a great one. All the best. Blessings. |
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