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Silence
Contributed by
xFaLLeNxFaRiex
on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 10:41:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Silence, it shifts through the air.
My breath shatters onto the ground.
Your voice echoes through my head as well as mine to yours.
I need those eyes, to see those eyes all the time.
Sometimes, I feel a need for a hug.
I'd cherish.
I'd cherish an apple that you'd give me.
I'd cry because I found the best thing in my life; you!
I'd smile, because I have this bright light in front of me that cherishes me back.
The silence would bring me down.
My breath would break the nothingness.
You know how I need to find me?
You don't know.
You'll never know.
It's breaking us all apart.
No one can communicate.
We're all trapped under the bleakness.
And we're weak, and hopeless.
But...
Your're my cherishing light.
The one I adore with sweet rainbow bright.
But, the silence is holding us back from us.
Now, it's broken us all.
And the enchanting jasmine..is gone too!
No one will ever feel the same again.
Copyright ©
xFaLLeNxFaRiex
... [
2005-02-09 22:41:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSchroedmeister on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 11:09:52 PM AEST
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I usually don't comment on love poems, as I typically hate them.
To that end, this one presented something of worth to me. It is rare to find a work that reflects a thought without being overly blunt. I think you handled it beautifully.
Maybe I'll run into another of yours sometime. That'd be kinda nice. |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 11:16:50 PM AEST
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| i agree completely. nothing i could have said better. |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Thursday, 10th February 2005 @ 12:56:25 AM AEST
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I love that line.."I'd cherish an apple you gave me"..
I know that feeling soooooooo well... |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by xFaLLeNxFaRiEx on
Thursday, 10th February 2005 @ 02:30:27 PM AEST
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^_^ Yay, my poem is loved! *keruri's poem is loved*
Ok, well, this isn't exaclty a love poem--I mean it is, but it's also about humanity in another way...
Sometimes, I feel a need for a hug.
I'd cherish it.*
I'd cherish an apple that you'd give me.
I messed up there! |
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