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It's Okay To Cry
Contributed by
DesolantDreamer
on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 09:39:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
You leaving forever
Was the hardest thing I ever had to swallow
I longed to hold you again
To feel you in my arms
But you left without a trace
Like you were never there
And not even a goodbye
I felt so bad for a long time
And always wanted to cry
But never once did I
In front of anyone
Silently crying in the dark
This morning I broke down
Like a dam with a big leak
The emotions taking over
The tears drowning me
I was dying
I still can't swallow
The fact that you're gone
But crying made me feel
A lot better
Copyright ©
DesolantDreamer
... [
2005-02-13 21:39:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It's Okay To Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by In2thetwilightzone on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 04:14:29 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i liked how you climaxed that but as it all built up, i got to the ending and i was disapointed by the ending, work on powerful endings, its your next level up, the rest was a great source of raw emotion, now learn to make it magical. maybe you already have, maybe thats how you diliberatly wanted to end it, unfinished almost, if that was your intention, then you did it great. but personaly i prefer powerful, meaningful endings, i dont like it when they end it this way. but the rest was great. but please sort that ending out, you made all that effort. please work on the ending xxxxxxxjazzxxxxxxxxxx |
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