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Her beauty

Contributed by Wesley_Dale_Willis on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 09:58:08 PM in AEST
Topic: Haiku

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Re: Her beauty (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 10:40:30 PM AEST
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okay one problem. you changed the personal pronouns, and that makes no sense. it should be her beauty and her lifetime. or your beauty, and your lifetime. doing a mix makes no sense, and is (as my spanish packet would say) complete nonsense!

Re: Her beauty (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 10:49:01 PM AEST
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okay Wesley I see what E9 is speaking of, but when I read it .....I got that the "your" was like a beautiful child and the "her" was the Mother. The child so beautiful the Mother will hear that comment many times in her life??? Let me know pronoun mistake? or pronoun intention? Much peace.

Re: Her beauty (User Rating: 1 )
by electrique_poet on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 11:04:06 PM AEST
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whether the pronoun change was intentional or not, after reading this a few times i like it, very nice, very peaceful

... in words electrique

Re: Her beauty (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 11:07:55 PM AEST
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Lovely Haiku. Wes....
I agree with E-9 tho I think she was a bit harsh in her commenting...
Jenni

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