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not just alone
Contributed by
mysonnet
on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 09:49:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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whispering tears and silent rain ne'er ending fears with angry pain tears came down like rain that falls- which land in this lonely town as time itself slowly crawls without a single sound and sense the loneliness of the rain- with a gentle touch to feel her pain that hurt so much she'd always be the one to ask for a change and now she'll be the one suffering from that pain the dark slowly draws itself near no more shedding of anguish tears but the thing, the feeling drew near and made her heart grew fear the torment she took in the dark just like a stab into her heart but she only asked for a friend who can stand by her till the end no more friend, and no more luck one by one left her alone in the dark nothing else left to feed her insecurity but just herself, being lonely
Copyright ©
mysonnet
... [
2005-02-15 09:49:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: not just alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by reprobate on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 10:50:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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hey there...it's a little jumpy in places and a feeling of 'grabbing' for flow, but it has heart. i like it. keep at it, it doesn't always come easy!
thanks for sharing |
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Re: not just alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rhymingron on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 12:12:37 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You're on the right track, you just need some practice.Watch some of your words though. Anguish tears? Anquish doesn't work as a modifier. Please accept as constructive and keep on writing.
Good luck and God bless. |
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