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Deception's Smile
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 01:54:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
You
Smile
For awile,
Happy
Overwelming the sappy,
Trusting,
What seemed to be rusting,
Alive,
Like never before, no need to hide,
~
Dead
Like never before, More tears cried,
Decieving,
What seemed to be seeing
Depression
Overwelming the passion,
Frown
Falling down
I
Drowned
In my thoughts
Of my last breath
As my lungs stretch
My heart stops and rots
Now I finally turn my frown
Up side down
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-02-19 01:54:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Deception's Smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 01:57:27 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is a good write... i felt it... good job
God bless
*bebe |
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Re: Deception's Smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xnoybis on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 02:39:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this one a lot. I think it's nicely facilitated by the automatic centering when you post things too. Nice message, nice flow, and nice structure..in more than once sense. Seems to work all around.
Reminds me of a quote I saw recently (I'm starting to feel like a broken record, saying that):
"First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire."
It's not the words themselves, so much..I guess it's just the underlying sentiment. But I'm fond of bastardizing things to my delight, so.. |
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Re: Deception's Smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 09:05:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| even read well the second time =] great poem clark. that twist is the real deception =] |
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