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if i fall
Contributed by
sidra
on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 05:58:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
And if I completely fall into you
Stop waiting for 'the other shoe'
What if I just let myself go?
Will you protect my heart and soul?
Will you always take me just as I am?
The quirky, very stubborn, headstrong woman?
Will you hold me in the dark of night?
When nasty demons bite, startle and fright?
Or sunny days when all is bright?
And everything is looking sweet and right?
So simple now when our relationship is young
Love comes with such an ease
Everafter seems so far away
When you're lost in the ordinary day to day
But years from now when we're old and grey
Copyright ©
sidra
... [
2005-02-19 17:58:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: if i fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoetBaby814 on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 06:10:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I like it its really good |
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Re: if i fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 07:14:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Its beautiful. It has a nice gentle flow and is written brilliantly. I hope it does last for eternity.
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: if i fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by MLCstar on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 07:31:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like this poem. The only aspect that I had a problem with is that it sounds like you were trying too hard to make it rhyme. When you sacrifice the elequence of the poem just so that it can be in rhyming couplets, that is, to me, just not right. Poetry does not have to rhyme. it is good anyway. |
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Re: if i fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by ROUGE on
Saturday, 19th February 2005 @ 08:18:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I LIKE THIS ALOT, ITS WHAT I WOULD ASK ALSO. GREAT WRITE.
ROUGE. |
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Re: if i fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Writting_Fever on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 09:27:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| good poem. try not too hard to make everything rhyme. keep writting |
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