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Conversation of the Seasons
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 02:02:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
Birds fly south for the winter
A cab is hailed as lights change color
Half a city crosses a street
Bus is running late
Train has walked home
Subway is catering to half a million
Chicken tendered Jarredite replicas
Gridlock virus has infected everything
A homeless child wanders the night
Perhaps she is the one who lost the key
Shuttles and starships have been grounded
Electrically charged with positive feedback
They aim high hopes into distant horizons
Everyone has somewhere to go
No one knows how to get there
Deadlines hang from every neck
The noose of time constricting
A closing vise, squeezing life from all
Love a lifeline to verify existence
Changing scenery in a windows program
The carousel of life spins inexorably onward
Screams echo from cathedral bells
Announcing a reign of bats
Falling through the misty air
Blindly leading night
Through darkening hushed alleyways
Moths seek out light for comfort
Lampposts guide their secrets stoically
Illuminating unseen truths
Coffee shops sell desecrated wares
Assorted flavors of disillusionment
Tasters choice dictates desire
Blissfully oblivious to all but their benefactor
Two occupants sip premium leaded caffeine
Pure perfection poured into their cups
In quiet contemplation
The eyes have it
Wandering through multi-colored facets
Intense irises teach interested pupils
Emerald glances cut like diamonds
Dissecting images of import
Discovering similarities of character
Conversation never skips a beat
A pendulum keeps score
Metronoming moments with crystal clarity
Time wins another round
Words of interest pay the bank
Inflating rivers of reasonable rapport
Never falling into the debt of silence
As
Birds return to spend the summer
( Note: another site writer does this far better than I.
I just found myself intrigued with the style and thought I'd give it a try
You ramble best Stephy ~ )
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-02-21 14:02:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 02:05:05 PM AEST
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me loved :):) ramble away Nazzy lol
pix xx |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 02:45:39 PM AEST
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And you did an excellent job with it Naz. There are lines here that are both meaningful and memorable. Impessed me again.
Stitch |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 05:00:30 PM AEST
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The write was really good. I loved the line...Assorted flavors of disillusionment....and also the one...Intense irises teach interested pupils....great job! Waiting for more....
Carol |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 09:09:23 PM AEST
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| I had to stop at "the eyes have it" that busted me up..i can't say why..I'm just feelin soooo silly right now...got so much poetry..but promised not to post..but didn't promise not to read..lmao... |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 09:47:35 PM AEST
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| I found it quite intense. Thankyou for sharing this with us. Much peace. |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 09:06:22 AM AEST
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There is always a time of day that I ask myself on how you do it, I mean you just keep writing brilliant poems that just stands out from the rest of our works.
This was really good; everything came out well that I thought you wanted to believe. I wouldn’t call it a ramble though.
Anyways great writing Nazzy.
Jane ^_^
(Who thought Nazzy rumbles well LOL)
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 12:15:35 PM AEST
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wow amazing nazzy.
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by LadyWynter on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 01:31:13 PM AEST
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| Wow! For a first attempt at this style, I would say you did an excellent job. The imagery of you words is flawless, making it so easy to see this all in my mind. You have amazing talent, I can see I will be quite busy reading your other pieces :-) |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 03:57:17 PM AEST
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AAWWWW!! Thanks hunny! But, I think you topped me with this one, lol!! Beautiful!!! I LOVE it!! I hope you try your hand at this style again, Scott! You did a marvelous job with this! I'm glad my poetry gives you inspiration. It's a wonderful feeling. Flawless write, cheri!! Can't wait to read your next masterpiece! All my love as always! Forever,
Your dear friend,
Stephy ~ still in awe!! ~ |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:38:00 PM AEST
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Any reference to moths is nice.
When I first read it
I thought it said
"a crab is hailed"
and i was jealous.
Like, now he's writing about people
riding crabs! He is going to get crazy
and be more creative than me now?!
I have seen many rambles,
but this isn't redundant and
monotonous,
there's music in your poetry.
Lots of eye candy.
--Ghosty |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Les4567 on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 07:12:11 PM AEST
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Very good... I loved it you did an amazing job for this being your first time at this style i loved the lines
" Emerald glances cut like diamonds
Disecting images of import"
you are an amazing writer
never stop writing poetry you are a true poet
you have extraodinary talent. dont let your go
~Leslie |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 07:29:39 PM AEST
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Hey, this is great work! There's intensity, and a wiser view of life. And the wording is quite excellent. You've a winner of a piece here, my friend. I'll be rereading this.
Andrew |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 24th February 2005 @ 10:23:52 AM AEST
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*grin* It's about time I commented on this.
I think you ramble well hun
(*hands you Snemmy's ramble crown*)
Lol. seriously though, this is great. And I can see all you in it. Especially here:
Two occupants sip premium leaded caffeine
Pure perfection poured into their cups.
Lol J/k.
This is my favourite part of the whole things:
The carousel of life spins inexorably onward
Screams echo from cathedral bells
Announcing a reign of bats
Falling through the misty air
Blindly leading night
Through darkening hushed alleyways
Fantastic.
Great write hunni,
*hugs* Phil xxx
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Saturday, 26th February 2005 @ 09:25:33 AM AEST
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Hi Naz,
There you go again, experimenting with something new of unfamilar to you. A wonderful quality and strength of yours. You sir, are a courageous writer and poet. I really loved this poem. It builds up a wonderful rhythum and flow. There were several passages that I just loved, with your play on words. To me there is a message on all the stress in our helter skelter lives.
Great write my friend,
Willofree, Terry |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 11:53:39 PM AEST
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| nazzy this was freakin awesome, it reminds me of the new music style i am experimenting with, kinda loose and flowing. this is a great wonderful and magnificent write. you always to prevail at whatever style you set out to write in. i think you would have an artistic knack with any medium thoug, but that is just a hunch i have. thanks for sharing and inspiring others(me) to continue pushing their borders. |
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Re: Conversation of the Seasons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 08:00:00 AM AEST
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I thought your collection of metaphors worked really well, and it painted a picture, quite vividly in my mind.
"Everyone has somewhere to go
No one knows how to get there"
So true, in the city tonight. |
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