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Keep Going
Contributed by
xXcrossedXx
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 07:56:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
When every thought
Is forgotten,
When every feeling
Goes numb,
When every memory
Starts to disolve,
When every person
Disappears,
When your heart
Breaks and shatters,
When your mind
Is clogged,
When your eyes
Go blind,
When your ears
Turn deaf,
When your body
Falls weak,
You Still Haven't Failed.
((sorry for typos and errors, my real copy on my laptop is broken))
Copyright ©
xXcrossedXx
... [
2005-02-22 19:56:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Keep Going
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 08:09:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like this. It's short and too the point. But don't be so hard on yourself. :-) |
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Re: Keep Going
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 08:11:42 PM AEST
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I like the poem...I would have liked it better with a twisted ending....good job though Amanda...
Clark |
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Re: Keep Going
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 09:44:20 PM AEST
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| an A plus on concept. i must say i loved the description also, im also a negative person. but you havent really failed until you can look in the mirror and say ive failed the next time. |
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Re: Keep Going
(User Rating: 1 )
by wlamom on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 01:51:58 PM AEST
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| You nailed it, great write I really needed to hear that especially today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: Keep Going
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 01:30:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| The concept for this one is pretty strong, but I'm not sure, it isn't sitting right with me for some reason. I think you were a bit too direct, if that makes sense. If it helps, I think your poem didn't have to necessarily end where it did, but by giving the readers a "why," like, giving a reason why you still havent failed. Something that would just be a nice little twist before you ended the poem. I love the concept though, and I've written pieces like this myself, I just hope it wasn't as painful for you as it was for me. And I hope that suggestion made sense and wasn't something that would be ruining the poem...lol. |
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