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Lost in the fog
Contributed by
MnMnMsrcool
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 10:37:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
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With a heavy heart and a tear finding its way down my cheek I turn my back and hope everything is ok I don't know what to do as an awkwardness surrounds me engulfing me in a heavy fog making it hard to breath Guilt starts to block my veins As I'm getting suffocated people are getting hurt people I care about I lash out In a desperate measure to feel something something of the old me and I only hope that this isnt me That I'm not out to hurt hurt the only people that know who i can be I don't know who I am
Copyright ©
MnMnMsrcool
... [
2005-02-22 22:37:14] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost in the fog
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 10:55:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i liked much of this. i would especially like to see more of this type of writing...
"an awkwardness
surrounds me
engulfing me in a heavy fog
making it hard to breath
Guilt starts to block my veins
As I'm getting suffocated" i like vagueness in poems. the entire thing doesnt need to be vague, but even a bit, leaves something to the imagination and gives depth to what otherwise would be a shallow poem.
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Re: Lost in the fog
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2005 @ 09:46:36 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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you expressed yourself well, I hope that the fog clears for you soon,
pix xx |
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