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Time
Contributed by
rottenrioter
on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 02:03:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The clocks ticking louder and louder
The minutes seem like hours
I can't stop thinking about you
The times when were together
Seems like no time at all
It just goes by so fast
How I wish I could see you right now
It's 12:30 in the morning
Where has all of our time gone?
I miss you
The lonelyness lingers
I'm going crazy
Why is out time apart doing this to me?
Will i see you tommorrow?
It's 2:45
I'm thinking about you
are you me?
I want to be with you so bad
I miss you
Copyright ©
rottenrioter
... [
2005-03-01 14:03:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by xtremcalibur on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 02:24:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Although your poem lacks the passion that one seeks in poems such as yours, it could have been more. Putting a little more feelings into it would make it much more. When you wrote this, you should have just closed your eyes and seen your friend's face. Feel her/his pain and then the passion would flow. Previewing it is always a good thing. |
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Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by THUGGIN4REAL on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 04:33:42 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| GOOD WRITE, I AINT ONE TO HATE. GO INTO A LITTLE MORE DETAIL NEXT TIME. OTHER THAN THAT , YOUR WORDS FLOW |
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