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PROGRESS
Contributed by
Rhymingron
on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 02:10:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
war
|
PROGRESS
How awesome is the mind of humankind
There seems to be no force that can't be tamed
No disease for which a cure can't be found
No boundaries that cannot be broken down
We travel to all corners of the globe
What once took months is narrowed down to hours
An earthly creature landed on the moon
Some think the same on Mars could be done soon
We watch events unfold around the world
Yet never leave the comfort of our homes
We talk with friends where ever they may be
Written word that took weeks is instantly
Impossible, a word we do not know
We replaced it with the shorter word, go
Yet when the powers of the world want more
And leaders of the nations won't agree
They return to a more old fashion way
By sending their young people off to war
Lives squandered there like ashes in the wind
Copyright ©
Rhymingron
... [
2005-03-05 14:10:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by xtremcalibur on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 03:46:44 PM AEST
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| Taking into consideration of when you wrote this, I applaud you for the content. You put into your write what most would have to agree with. I would like to see more passion though. I would like you to rewrite this at a better given time. It would be interesting of what comes of it. Good write. Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 05:58:38 PM AEST
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Very nice writting an essensial statement a
nice peice of poetic wisdom . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dralion on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 08:46:19 PM AEST
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| As someone who's emerged as one of the "Anti-War" voices on YPDC, nice to see people realize that much of our energy is devoted still to tribal conflict. |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 11:14:07 PM AEST
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| Great write. This government is one big war machine. Folks in the world don't see things "our" way kill em'. It seems to be the way this world in general solves its problems. And as you say, at the expense of our young people. I thought the title was a good slap in the face too. Well done. Much peace. |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 09:58:52 PM AEST
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| This really is an extraordinary piece. You really made me think here...The title fits this work very well, so don't change it. Excellent work. Keep writing. Yours is a wonderful voice to be heard. |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Red_October on
Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 11:43:16 AM AEST
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| i like this and said with what many of us think - it's relative and well written. plus it feels wispy, not angry as it could be. Tiffany J. |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Wednesday, 9th March 2005 @ 07:23:18 PM AEST
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Wow, great write....the last line hit hard...that is good! We live in a wonderful yet scary time.
Carol |
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Re: PROGRESS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 11:10:28 AM AEST
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It is an essential question, I think... whether we lose more than we gain by forward 'progress'. I'd agree with the other commenter... I'd have like to see more passion here. This reads as if it were simply ponderings (and maybe it was that...)--- if there were emotions with these thoughts, I couldn't feel them. Maybe it's just me - oh, I am sort of over the top with this - but I prefer a read that puts me a step closer to the poet's heart, you know?
Keep the thoughts turning... and keep writing,
~SNM~ |
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