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Death awaits my mistakes
Contributed by
PoetBaby814
on
Saturday, 5th March 2005 @ 08:13:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
My breath escapes me
I think of what I've done
Still as a statue
I lie there without a sound
A puddle of life drains from me
My life dissapears
Sirens wail and life blurs
The constant sound of my heart
As it slowly comes to halt
Light burns into my eyes
My face begins to sting
Red fingers form around my arms
I seep into the ground
My silent screams the only sound
The devils stares me in face
I look away in disgrace
My angel wings ripped from my back
Cause the strength i lacked
To stay around
Brought me down
Where I shall be
For eternity
Copyright ©
PoetBaby814
... [
2005-03-05 20:13:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death awaits my mistakes
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Sunday, 6th March 2005 @ 04:35:22 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| well it started out better than most suicide poems do, but then you kinda had this ummm strange urge to rhyme the remaining lines of your poem which kinda ruined it for me. other than that it was ok. |
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