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Pain and Memories
Contributed by
lostlove
on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 02:03:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
So much anger So much pain So much torment Too much fear
Give in to the anger The pain, torment, and fear The feelings of hate Feelings of lose
All that is left is torture Torture of the soul And all that remains Is the memories Memories of you
Copyright ©
lostlove
... [
2005-03-07 02:03:25] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain and Memories
(User Rating: 1 ) by veenu on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 06:33:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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lostlove u need modifications try more
good poem
but if u realy love him or her than make it more emotional so that we know that u really love him or her |
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Re: Pain and Memories
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 11:21:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hey there :)
Well, i like the brevity of this poem, and the almost abrupt ending to it..
But I'd suggest one thing: maybe just try making it a lil deeper, adding more depth and meaning.
Oh, and also -- I like some of the repetition.
Keep writing!
~kt |
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