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Storm of Deception
Contributed by
lonely-nobody
on
Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 07:08:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The clouds in the sky all turned black
The day you said I was like that
It's been stormng on me
But the lightening doesn't scare me at all
It reminds me of you
Never knowing when or where it's
going to strike
The rain is flooding my soul
Causing me to plunge deeper and deeper
into the black hole of confusion
The sunshine I once had
has gone away
Every now and then the twister of heartache
Crosses my path
I have to stop and remember what you did
to me
It's gone as fast as it came
But the hurricane of sorrow is here to stay
That storm won't pass over
It won't go away
I hold on tight fearing what might happen
if I shall let go
The house of lonliness is where I stay
If I get lost it's light shows the way
I hear voices there but they're all in my head
My real friend left me here
Never to return again
I'm caught in this storm of deception
I'll never be freed alive
The house of lonliness is where I'll die
Copyright ©
lonely-nobody
... [
2005-03-07 19:08:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Storm of Deception
(User Rating: 1 )
by bonster on
Tuesday, 28th June 2005 @ 05:11:57 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I apologise for my honesty but before I say anything i will say I fealt the emotion which is good. The thing is whatever brought this poem on may have clouded you thinking and abiltiy to find a flow. I think the poem has potential to be FABULOUS i would just re think the flow because it can make it hard to understand or appreciate if it doesnt flow smothly in its own way.
Any way ya dont have to listen to me it is your poem and who the hell am I . Just though I would share my opinion. |
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