|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Crazy Doctor
Contributed by
Rhino33
on
Wednesday, 16th March 2005 @ 07:22:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Crazy Doctor
*************
Doctor: Mr. Btzin, my name is Doctor. In your mind. I am here to help you work through the problems of the last 24 hours. Do you remember anything about them?
Erik Btzin: No sir, I'm sorry but I don't why I am here. And then again where is here?
Doctor: Now just relax you are in no danger you are safe there was an accident and I'm here to help you work thru it, Okay?
Erik: Um I guess what accident?
Doctor: All will be answered; I will attempt to hypnotize you so that you can relive the actual event. If at any time I feel you are endangering your self or me for that matter I will snap you out of it, understand.
Erik: Well okay.
Doctor: Let us begin; try to relax as I count to ten, back then forth as you follow my pen. Now remember back to your house and what you felt on approaching then walk me thru the events that followed.
Erik: Hollow feeling, the silence is what's killing
Alone until home, my sanctuary our throne
Foundation built by two hearts and four hands
The holy union of one women and one man
The cold breeze from the cold world
Never passed our doors
Never blew dust on our floors
We were of one body and one soul
My heart has lead me wrong but with her
I never once felt strung along
it was a common treaty
Doctor: Mr. Btzin, please focus on that day,
As you entered your home
I slid the key into the lock
Turned the knob and started to say hello
I heard something hit the wall, first soft then hard
Then what I thought was a faint moan turned into a grunt then a groan
I put my bags in the hall then I crept along
Never once thinking my girl did me wrong
The sounds got louder, the pounding, the hollers
The moans and the grunts
I reached the door and eased it open
The adrenaline starts flowing
My heart starts pounding
My mind processes my surroundings
Cause now no one will get out!!!
I close the door just as easy
No logic, instinct, silent as I creep
I watch and listen
Not completely certain of my intentions
I stop listening and watch there motions
I see an opening and attack...
Doctor: Wait Mr. Btzin, calm down take a moment to breath.
Breath in and then out breath in and then out.
Okay now continue.
Erik: As I move in for the attack I see his face
I hear her moan I see nails dig in his back
I hear her "oh my God I love it all"
I snatch him by the neck; slam him against the wall...
Then I threw him in the closet and locked the door
I turn and face my wife balled up in fear for her life
No knife, no gun, bare handed one on one
I have nothing left to lose; choice is not one I have to choose
I come close and she runs
Its the adrenaline I won't be out done
I go for her throat but move to fast
My body hits hers and she goes face first into the night stand
There's banging at the closet
I turn to focus on it, I unlock the door and stand to the side
I open it just enough, he rushes I slam it shut
knock him off balance I pounce with malice
we fight but its over soon, blood fills our little bit of room
door knob in hand I see on his face the puncture wounds
I hear that oh so familiar moan
I turn and approach it
Doctor: Mr. Btzin, did she say anything to you?
Erik: I think I heard a whisper,
My focus can't be hindered
Death will be delivered
Set free from the bodies of sinners
Doctor: Mr. Btzin, I want you to wake up at the count of three,
123
Erik: Huh?
What, what happen where am I?
Doctor: You can take him away; I have enough information to classify him insane
Erik Btzin
Copyright ©
Rhino33
... [
2005-03-16 19:22:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Crazy Doctor
(User Rating: 1 )
by JJMcBride on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 09:40:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I like your basic idea - the doctor and the patient recalling - but you need more structure. What I mean is: be more specifc. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
