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Young Love
Contributed by
deepxinLOVE
on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 06:56:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
a young girl, the age of five,
had only one reason she thought she was alive.
everyday a boy of her age went to the park,
he stayed there and played there until it got dark.
she watched him from a bench with a smile on her face,
the sight of him made her heart race.
she wanted to play with him really bad,
but shyness at the moment was all she had.
he noticed her by herself sitting there,
nervously, continuously playing with her hair.
walked over to her, gave her a smile,
"would you like to play with me for a while?"
after they played it was time to go,
he gave her a kiss, then they went home.
ever since then they were always together,
were they ever apart, that answer is never.
now the message of this story displays nothing but,
you're never too young to fall in love.
Copyright ©
deepxinLOVE
... [
2005-03-19 18:56:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Young Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 07:06:23 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'd change the last two lines to
"now the message of this story is simple;
you're never too young to fall in love."
I think it makes more sense. Nice poem.
Oh, and no-one steals around here, so you can quit worrying about that - you have a copyright at the foot of your poem that ensures you're legally protected against intellectual theft.
Keep writing. |
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