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FRIENDS TO LOVERS
Contributed by
CrippinBabi513
on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 04:57:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
WE STARTED AS FRIENDS BUT WE KNEW SOON THAT WOULD END I TRIED TO HIDE IT BUT FINALLY I GAVE IN
NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER YOUR MORE THAN MY FRIEND YOUR MY SOULMATE AND LOVER
WE STARTED OFF ROUGH BUT NOW WE HAVE GROWN FO EVA U'LL KEEP ME MY HEART U WILL OWN
STAY CLOSE BY MY SIDE PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME HERE BEING ALONE W/O U IS MY ONLY TRUE FEAR
OUR LOVE IS STRONG NOTHIN CAN BREAK DIS BOND U DIDNT SEE IT COMING BUT IT WAS OF U I GREW FOND
I WISH U COULD HEAR ME AND LOOK INTO MY EYES UDE SAY I'M BEAUTIFUL AND OUR LOVE WILL NEVA DIE
I WANNA ME DA GURL U COMMET URSELF TO WHO U SPEND YO LYFE WIT AND THRO VOWS SAY I DO
RITE NOW WERE APART AND U NO MI HEARTS IN PAIN BUT WHEN U GET OUT EVERYTHIN WILL BE OKAY
U CANT HEAR MY WORDS OR THE VOICE THRO WHICH I SPEACK BUT I HOPE U FEEL MI LOVE CUZ ITS MY LOVE DAT MAKES U WEAK
U MAY NOT SEE IT NOW BUT IN THE FUTURE WE STAND UP ON DA ALTER SAYIN I LUV U HAND N HAND
I'LL ALWAYS B LOYAL AND LOVE U FO LYFE NOW LAY DOWN YO HEAD AND DREAM BOUT ME TONITE
Copyright ©
CrippinBabi513
... [
2005-03-21 16:57:20] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: FRIENDS TO LOVERS
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 05:07:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'm not quite sure why you have it all in capitals..
The general content is good, and the flow is good, but I think you need to work on spelling a little.
Also, using full words instead of one letter abbreviations woud make the poem seem more serious and better done.
I hope this helps.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: FRIENDS TO LOVERS
(User Rating: 1 ) by b_rand on
Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 05:20:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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yes the ebonics need to be trimmed waaaaaaay down. i hope everythings okay, good poem however |
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