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Nothing but gray
Contributed by
Nardo
on
Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 10:18:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
This has been a day
Without words
no lyrical sentiments about nature.
Clouds in the sky
are just clouds in the sky
and the rain is just
water on the ground.
Back to ordinary eyes
living a not so ordianry life
with washed out colors
pooling in the drains
along with the mud
torn leaves
and
trash.
That Tin Man feeling echoes
surround sound
the slow beating of an oil drum
beats in my chest.
Copyright ©
Nardo
... [
2005-03-23 10:18:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nothing but gray
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 04:34:56 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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I really like this. This poem does not go out on long tangents (which is not a bad thing to do), but instead is very simple and desciptive. The advantage of this is that it shows the depth of simple things. I think the universe is like that. We can look at the whole thing, and feel overwhelmed, (that would be like the long tangents that seem to describe the entire universe) or you can look at the smallest blade of grass, and yet still be able to see the whole thing, and feel overwhelmed just the same. (That would be like poems like this, short, simple, yet deep) This kind of writing reminds me of Robert Creely.
Also, I really loved the words you used. Great writing!
That Tin Man feeling echoes
surround sound
the slow beating of an oil drum
beats in my chest.
That expresses the feeling that I am talking about.
One again....very impressed.
Be True,
zenmind |
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