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One More Shot
Contributed by
breny
on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 09:47:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Our love has been tainted
It's been flawed in some way
But the worst part about it
Is that I still want you to stay
Nothing has been the same
Since we got in that fight
I want everything better
I want to make it right
I know you really love me
And I believe it's true
But there is something going on
Between that Ali girl and you
If she's what makes you happy
Then you should go with her
Figure out what you want
Because I want you to be sure
Baby I still love you
And I know I always will
There's a certain part of me
That only you can fill
So do some hard thinking
And find out what you want
And i'll be here waiting
To give it one more shot
Copyright ©
breny
... [
2005-03-24 21:47:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: One More Shot
(User Rating: 1 )
by quill_and_ink on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 09:54:38 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I think you were being hard on yourself when u said this poem is bad. The poem has nice stucture and you have expressed your feelings well. It definitely was not hard to read. And if u still believe that this poem is bad, then just keep writing more poems because it is experience that makes a good poet. |
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Re: One More Shot
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th March 2005 @ 01:18:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem of yours is so well written, and I really enjoyed reading it. I can relate to it...I truly hope things work out for you guys. |
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Re: One More Shot
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 05:18:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| well i can say one thing for sure, this aint a bad poem! it's well plotted, well crafted, it really acted like a window to your emotions. it seems as though nothing was left unsaid, and your emotions came through extremely well. You should be proud of this, it was a great write! |
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