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Old Leather Belt
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 09:33:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
In this house that is not a home Im trapped in a fake world all alone Forced to live someone elses life Forced to endure so much pain and strife So many expectations melted into me Wanting me to change into someone I could never be And I will always remember the welts on my sides Never forgetting how Id run and hide Painfully looking back to how youd keep me afraid Forever regretting the mistakes I have made And having to remember that look on your face So disappointed, my pulse increasing in pace Tears pouring down, as youd step up Telling me I would never be good enough Feeling the sting of your old leather belt Rubbing my hand over my newly earned welt My heart racing every time you speak You taking advantage of knowing Im weak And even Mothers tears made not a difference Id never be able to make a resistance The wrath of you, my Father, broke me in two Having to live knowing Im just disappointment to you With bloody tears running down my cheeks My Mother too afraid to even speak Up on the mantle sat your old leather belt Ill never forget all the shame that I felt Youd stand so tall over me in all that you know Id feel so intimidated in your cold shadow And although it has been almost four years I can still feel the burn of my shallow tears And Im still afraid of you, of what you did I still feel so small, like such a disappointment And Im still sorry, Father, for everything Im sorry for being so disappointing For not being able to stand up for Mother For not refusing, for hating you, Father Now you ask for my forgiveness and love After apologizing for everything you have done But Im still afraid, Daddy, Im still all alone Im so sorry, Daddy, but youre on your own
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-03-27 21:33:47] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Old Leather Belt
(User Rating: 1 ) by Evilnn on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 10:39:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh Angel, Im so sorry for the pain you went through. I myself lived in a house of pain and I still have nightmares. I hope you realize that you are important and not a disappointment. No child deserves to live in constant fear. I hope you are doing better now. try to let the past go- I know that's easier said than done, but hang in there and keep writing- you are very talented!!!
Take care Blue Angel!!
Eve
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Re: Old Leather Belt
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jaycee on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 08:00:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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| What can I say that would even do justice to this? Well, apologies are pretty empty at this point, so your Dad deserves an aboslutre frosty shoulder. I agree with the previous poster - annoying that you can see the other comments when commenting yourself - that you did nothing to deserve this. Your Dad? Well, he deserves 10 to 20 (at least). There is no excuse for what he did to you. I can only hope that your life is safer and gives you time to sort stuff out and heal. |
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