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lie in bed

Contributed by electrique_poet on Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 02:00:05 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



lie in bed
vacantly stare at false screen;
a day and a half for(ever me

lie in bed
with the door sealed off;
no one to prattle on with or without

lie in bed
relax into grayness;
seems to be such a novel idea

lie in bed
dream the sweetest dream;
weltering waters smother me

lying in bed
i dream the sweetest dream;
unable to conceptualize her image (as

we always search for ouselves within the one
we love; to hate
(myself; lie or despondency (in bed)




Copyright © electrique_poet ... [ 2005-03-30 02:00:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: lie in bed (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 06:22:39 AM AEST
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Very interesting write. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it immensely. Great Work. Five stars from me. :-)


Re: lie in bed (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 11:59:24 PM AEST
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An unearthly piece!
An incredulous incorporation of literal and figurative expression!

“Vacantly stare at false screen;”
-There is so much thought and consideration and surmise behind this very sentence.
Is it the television to which you refer to as ‘false screen’?
A twisted notion, most intriguing!

“Relax into greyness;
seems to be such a novel idea”
-Novel, indeed!
Greyness… usually represents obscurity…is this what you are attempting to portray.

“Lie in bed
dream the sweetest dream;
weltering waters smother me
lying in bed
I dream the sweetest dream;
unable to conceptualize her image (as…”
-Again, I notice the signature contrast.
Beautiful detail, as well as imagery, particularly in line 3 –‘weltering waters smother me’.

“We always search for ourselves within the one
we love; to hate
(myself; lie or despondency (in bed)”

Indeed, I can most relate to this love-hate relationship with myself as well as with others in whom I see myself within… For better or worse!

O’ what an outstanding and most thought conjuring epilogue.

A clever muse, overall!




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