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Distant Star
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 01:32:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Through these red and tired eyes
I gazed upon a star so bright
dancing in the heavens vast
to gain some solace from its light
For even though it seems surrounded
by the countless stars I see
cold and distance separates
it's lost and lonely, just like me
Raging fires dwell within
here also inside my soul
Kindred spirits we were made
pawns that burn at fate's control
Strangers always in the crowd
no one seems to know we're there
If together we should fall
I don't think they'd even care
Shine upon me distant star
I knew you would understand
there so high above the clouds
I wish I could take your hand
then at least I'd have a friend
someone whom with I could cry
Maybe we might find some peace
there within the midnight sky
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2005-03-31 01:32:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 04:09:38 AM AEST
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Larry it's so good to see you back with us and posting you're beautiful poems again.
This was really beautiful, you do move me with you're words and verses. I just adore and love your poems.
Hope to see you more Larry.
Jane |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 04:59:33 AM AEST
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Would that I could change a sinlge thing ... I can only suggest the omission of just one word ...
"For even though it seems surrounded ... " to me this line seems stronger and has improved flow if you were to drop the "for". I am surely not one to tell you how to write ... I just see it and read it differently perhaps.
A triumph of a write however and I wonder if it is the same star that we look upon.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 07:03:15 AM AEST
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beautiful and touching. I am so happy that you have come back, you have been missed so much *hugs*
take care
Pix xx |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 07:33:07 AM AEST
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Magnificent!!
Another beauty here....
Jenni |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 08:11:34 AM AEST
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Sometimes just the solace of a kindred soul seems unattainable doesn't it?
This gets to the heart and wow does it speak!
Fantastic as usual..
Kie |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 09:04:32 AM AEST
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Deep and filled with longing. I can't wait to read more of your work!!!!
Welcome back!!!
Barkeep! |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 09:46:34 AM AEST
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Another beautiful write,
It's about time there was a little bit of a sparkle around here..
Again, that first stanza is the one that catches me.
Stunning write,
Phil |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 11:55:00 PM AEST
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BEAUTIFUL LARRY A TRUE WORK OF ART
YOUR A POET'S POET . . .
DORIAN CHAMBERS |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 12:46:59 AM AEST
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i love the feel of this poem larry, beautifully written as always, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by Merry on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 07:37:05 PM AEST
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Larry, your poetry always touches a tender spot...I think it must be my heart. This one is really very beautiful and written to perfection.
daisies for the king
merry |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 01:52:15 AM AEST
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Very beautifull.
smiles,
emy |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 02:42:31 PM AEST
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I need to read or I can't post .. hope you don't mind if I read your work and comment .. this piece makes me want to say..
"please, take my hand.. I think after all the crap I can be a friend now .. reach across the stars .. we can cry together because I need a friend Oh so badly right now .. " and then I read it and cry and utter under my breath... oh why did I have to find THIS....(((((( you))))) |
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Re: Distant Star
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 08:13:09 AM AEST
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So here I find a fellow star gazing soul.It is so vast and mystical. I have spent hours lying on the docks in our North and just watching the world up there. Shooting stars, actually seeing the milky way...nothing more calming.You my friend capture that in your words and pull it into here for all of us to see.
What passion you show for this your universe.
Your words reflect the peace you find there. |
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