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Message In a Bottle
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 11:53:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
~"From thence dispensed the simple sense,
Come hither, thither thou doth wither,
And while the smiles shalt cost sixpence,
A stranded isle shivers, tense.."
It shimmers 'midst the waltzing waves as emerald, once a thoughtful gift
And every motion gently paves the wistful ways of all adrift
Ere first reception comes the salt, between cork and rim a rift
Of warmth and dampened wills to halt, an aqueous "what-if"
So long, a song so soft among
The faintest, quaintest, briefest lapse
Of wishes, misses, air-borne kisses
Alone to wake from sweet mishaps
Upon an aging, yellowed page the echos of before
Around, abound, the stencil stage; like silence, less is more--
Its destination sunk by hope and freedom far from shores
Determination worn, eloped with seconds lost to lore.
Behind the words unsteady wrist
From fragile-feather glassheart spills
The fervent, folorn winds and mist
Of dreams beyond the windowsils:
" (This is not a cry for help
...gave up on that long before
If you're reading this--
Don't come to my rescue.)
Please, please
Anyone...
Give me
[a way out]
(From remembering again--)"
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2005-04-01 11:53:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Message In a Bottle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 12:15:22 PM AEST
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I absolutely adore this! Wow, wow, wow and wow! I'm not even going to bother to comment further except to say --- this deserves a place in a book... it is too good for just us.
Extraordinary.
Totalled by this,
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: Message In a Bottle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 08:46:50 PM AEST
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*returns...... for another re-read*
*notes the absence of others here*
*gets...... enormously frustrated and wonders... ARGH... what is wrong with everyone else that they can't see how fabulous this is*
*jumps up and down on the page.... willing others to come*
Seriously, JJ... I don't get it. And it's driving me slightly mad. I mean, honestly - just LOOK at what you did here! There are lines in this that... well... are entire poems in and of themselves.
Please --- keep writing. Even if... (*sigh*) they don't get it.
Your frustrated fan,
~Snem~
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Re: Message In a Bottle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Sunday, 1st May 2005 @ 04:42:48 AM AEST
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Drawn by Snemmiferous jumping and arm waving ... I am awestruck by what has been found. What you have done here is amazing. The complexity of the rhyme pattern is astounding. I deeply appreciate anyone who can formulate thought into rhyme, but when levels of depth such as thi are added ... You have my respect.
Nazzy ~
( stunned ) |
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Re: Message In a Bottle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st March 2006 @ 09:21:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a remarkable piece of work I've said this once or twice to poems in the past and I don't say this lightly I am totally in awe!
J. |
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