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Should I Slit My Wrists?

Contributed by FearMyRawr on Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 09:16:47 PM in AEST
Topic: self-harmpoetry



I just want to get out
I need you to disappear
I need out of this place
Before I hurt myself again
There's no other way out
You got my spinning round and round
You tied my up so tight that I'd never leave
And that rope is just too strong for me
I've cut it with scissors and everything I could find
It wouldn't break no matter how hard I tried
Does that mean anything to you?
Do you care that I'm stuck and there's no escape
That I was wrapped up in your touch
And you kisses that were oh so sweet?
I need you gone for I can't cut the ties
That are holding me back and bringing the knife closer
It looks so sharp and ready to slice
Anything like it was butter
Glistening and calling to me but no!
I can't, I won't... I shouldn't... but maybe...
All this pain would end
And I'd deal with you no more
And all these stupid people
Would just be out of my face
With the droplets of blood
Shining bright red on my floor
Looking like my door out
But it is way too small, I need more red
I'll keep on slicing til that puddle grows
Slashing my wrists is like cutting that rope
But you can't be tied if you have no life for it to bind to
I don't want to be here
I don't want to see your face again
Or feel your touch for all I care
I need to be gone
It isn't right for me to have to live like this
They say I have a choice, that I can make it better
But to all this I've said bull****, who the hell are you?
It's all your fault and I'm not ashamed to say so
For I wouldn't feel tied if it wasn't for you
The knife wouldn't shine
The rope would never have been
I wouldn't long for drops of red making a doorway
If it wasn't for you
I was like this before you came into my life
I wanted a break but you swept me off my feet
And gradually it all got better
I smiled more and I cried less
I put that knife away in my drawer
So I never had to look upon it's stained red blade
But then you were gone and I had no choice
I had no need to revert to anything else
I pulled that knife out and it's laying on my bed
What good is talking when no one seems to listen
When that is all I really yearn for
I'm but a small voice in your hectic world
And when you give me the chance to spill
It's like you wish you didn't have to hear me out
That I would just go away and be gone
And that's where I got the idea
That I would not be missed
Because if you don't care, why should I?
All I did was love you more than I loved myself
I'd have given you everything and this I thought you knew
If you don't care about me then I have no reason to breathe
But you might care even though you act so cold
Because if you ever felt the way I feel for you
You couldn't push me aside so quick and easy like you did
All I'm asking is for someone to listen
I need to rant and rave
I'm scared more than I have ever been before
I just don't know what to do
About you, about me, about all this ****
It's all coming down on me way too hard
I'm not strong enough to hold it by myself
I thought you would always be there to help me carry this burden
But I guess you won't and I don't want to live like that
Without a soul who really cares
You took the time to know me
Or saw right through my lies
Because you know me more than I ever thought any guy would
I can't get past you no matter how hard I try
And I really need a guy like you
Who just takes the time for me
I know I complain, I know I'm not perfect
But I'll try to stop the ******** and no one ever is
I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me everything's okay
But I feel I'll never get it by the way you act to me
This is hard for anyone to handle and I'm not as burly as most
I'm young and I'm weak and I can't do it all alone
Can you help me?
That's all I want to know
Do you really care about me
Enough to save my life?
I need you more than ever baby
It's my life at stake
I'm holding that knife and gazing
All I had was you
Nobody else cared to find the true me
But you did and I love you for it
Although you put me through all this
I guess I really want to know if you still love me
Like I thought you always would
And if you love me that much
Should I slit my wrists?





Copyright © FearMyRawr ... [ 2005-04-03 21:16:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Should I Slit My Wrists? (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 07:32:46 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
*put my hands over your wrists* I'm glad this is old pain. Sorry that you felt it, but glad it's old. Keep in your mind, pain will never be the answer to another pain....




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