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Away from the shadow
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:16:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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I wish I could get through these days,
Just let them pass me by,
Forget about these thoughts, these words,
Pretend they are just lies.
Curl up in a ball, so tight,
And wish these dreams away,
I would whisper to the world each night,
But I don't know what to say.
And I want to wake up in the morning,
And actually want to be awake,
I want to sit up on my pillow,
Without having the shakes.
Then I want to look out my window,
And almost celebrate the day,
But most of all I want my thoughts,
To leave, just fly away.
And I could sit here breathing lullabyes,
But I doubt people would hear,
But as long as I could hear the words,
I would keep them always near,
To sing myself to sleep at night,
And keep away the dark,
For if it came close to me now,
I fear I would fall apart.
I would fly off into shadow,
And fade out from the light,
While my words hovered upon the air,
Like a hummingbird in flight.
And the illusion of the strength I have,
Would slowly fade away,
Leaving nothing but a crumbling shell,
Which won't survive the light of day.
[And as I write this now,
Tears here within my eyes,
I promise myself once again,
That I will never cry,
As I slowly push and pull,
At all these thoughts of mine,
Buried here inside my head,
Left here for me to find]
And I cry...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-04-06 14:16:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:26:03 PM AEST
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I don't know what the source of the pain is, but this is plenty poignant. They rhyme works well too, making it doubly touching. I send you hugs and I hope you have a much better day tomorrow! I've had those kinda days too. Hope you know I'm always here if you need an ear. Hugs!
Jules |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pats4eva7 on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:26:17 PM AEST
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This is a very sad piece, full of raw emotion...I too have been where you are, and Im saddened to say its a very lonely place to be...im here if you need a friend, good write, keep it up
~*~melyssa~*~ |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arsenic on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:27:28 PM AEST
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| It may not be your best... but it far outshines anything I've done! You did a good job with the structure, and great job with the flow/rhyme. The emotion came through loud and clear...a desire to block those thoughts that keep nagging and pounding away, the darkness and pain, until the light of day brings a refreshingly brisk relief. But I said too much.... ARSENIC |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:30:47 PM AEST
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it's so great to be able to read more of your work.
this is excellent!
i hope that today is one just those days and that you feel much better tomorrow!
best wishes.
from,
xrosiex
=) |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 02:47:04 PM AEST
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I love this, Philly. It might need a little bit of revision - but I'd say very little indeed. For the most part, in drops into place exactly as it should. There are lines here that are just perfect... and so touching. I know it's an emotional write... but it is so tender, so... beautiful... at the same time that it left me smiling. Gosh, Philly... this is just wonderfully presented.
With wishes, always, for bright tomorrows,
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 03:39:10 PM AEST
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This was good write.
I'll probably reread it late tonight.
You should post it a couple of more times, even change the title if your so inclined.
Just be kind and gentle
Its all in your mind, its all mental. |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 04:25:22 PM AEST
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Phil ... ? I don't know a one among us that hasn't felt this way ... at one point or another. I know I have ... I don't have any answers other than it will pass ... but it did lend for some clear images and a good write ... perhaps that in itself can provide much needed therapy. * squeezies *
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 04:51:37 PM AEST
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Oh, ma cheri Phil!! *Wipes away Phils' tears* Cry all you want, sweetie, let it all out, through lamentations and expressions. This was so sad and beautful at the same time. Ma douce amie, I am so sorry for the sorrow and struggle you are going through, and so do not deserve... Heart-breaking, exquisite emotion, jumping right out from the monitor. Loved it! Not one of your best? Ah, cheri, you must give yourself more credit, this is gorgeous! I am just a PM away if you need me, honey. =) All my love and comfort! Forever,
Your dear friend,
Stephy. |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 06:00:36 PM AEST
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Wow Phil!!!
I know just how you feel... and you put it in words so well... *hugs* I hope that you can find light so your never left with the darkness creeping into you
Love ya,
~Kiela~ |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 08:01:27 PM AEST
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Another outstanding write from u my dear friend. It's sad, deep and very emotional.
Nothing less than what I expected from u.
A truly talented poetess u r. Sad, but radiantly shines. I hope u have much more brighter days to wash away the dark clouds.
Hugs,
Sue |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 10:07:45 PM AEST
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What a fantastic write, Philomena!
The feeling sucks, sure, but... the emotion and the writing you've turned it into are superb! Maybe someday you'll be able to feel a little relieved when you look back on this... you know, kind of like you'll be glad you wrote it down to get it out of your system a little instead of just bottling it up.
Great job... really terrific. I like it.
Lots of love and peace,
Chelsea
(who's here for you always) |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 02:09:43 PM AEST
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*hugs* here I think you could really do with a big snuggle right now. I really would love to take your depression and kick the crap out of it lol. this write broke my heart to read this and see just how bad you are feeling hun. I haven't been on msn much and feel guilty as you need friends right now *hugs* I really hope that you find your smile again, cos if you dont that depression betta watch its back!!!!
Love ya loads hunni, don't ever forget that ok?
Pix xx
btw this poem was amazingly written, deep and you bared your soul 100% in this write. not an easy thing to do.x |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 05:16:16 PM AEST
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Phil, it always as tho you write you're poems that expresses what im feeling right now.
Anyways i really thought this was perfect, just so long you got you're feeling out thats all that matters. Poetry is not about perfection it's about expression and you've done more that well in this write. I wouldn't dare change anything it is perfect as it is.
Hopefully we will all see that beautiful smile of your's again. Keep you're chin up it'll be all good in the long end.
Tons of hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:39:43 PM AEST
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A very sad, yet beautiful write. I do take issue, however, with your phrase regarding ...."illusion of your strength." Why? Because I do not see your strength as an illusion, but rather a real inner courage. It takes more strength to face and experience our pain then it does to bury it. I think it is a very brave and healthy act to share your hurt and to seek support and release thru your poetry, which is so beautiful. It is not weak to cry, it's the human thing to do. When you feel
it, express it.
Thank you for sharing, I admire your courage.
Will |
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Re: Away from the shadow
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 07:06:11 PM AEST
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wow..........amazingly hearfelt beautiful..........
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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