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The Oponent
Contributed by
purplestary
on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:12:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
when you look in the mirror, what do you see?
the opposite of your reflection
you think it is a photo of perfection
when you walk down the street, how do you strut?
your nose is stuck to the sky
you think you are an angel who can fly
when you sleep at night, how do you feel?
you lie alone, your price to be shallow
your left with nothing but that tearstained pillow
when you think about it, whats on your mind?
you are the only one to blame
you think it is a crying shame
when you took every oportunity you had forgranted, what were you thinking?
you had everything and anything;
you had it all for a while
you thought that was how it would always be;
you blew them off with a smile
when she needed you most and you walked away, how did you go on?
you burried yourself in what you wanted
you were the only one who mattered
the smile you wear was painted well
honestly your life has been shattered
Now that you realize someone can see you, how vulnarable to you feel?
It sucks when you are found out
when your cut wide open to bleed
someone sees right past the mask
they know you are not without need
you are exactly what I hate the most
you are fake in every aspect of living
I will not walk away like i should though
cuz' for once i am the one winning
I have come to exploit you to the world
the pleasure is mine, indeed
I'm here to unplug you from the wall
congradulations you bucket of greed
when you notice the prank, this game i am playing, what is your next move?
will you understand that life is a gift
that the world does not circle just you
you cannot go through life alone
your grey sky will never turn blue
don't be upset with yourself
don't be angry that you didn't forsee this
you thought i was someone to trust
you once even stole a kiss
this is not because i hate you
it is simply the worlds revenge
I had to beat you at your own game
to properly avenge.
now that we have reached this moment of truth, how will you react?
will you be mad and cuss me out
then continue your life of no meaning
or will you see these points i've made
and chose to start back at the beginning
no matter the choice you make, there is something you should know.
I love you and i always will
but your disguise must be discarded
artificial living is not my thing
your true self must be regarded
Copyright ©
purplestary
... [
2005-04-07 19:12:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Oponent
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stonedraider23 on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:26:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow well i dunno seemed good a bit long for my liking but hey whateva works keep it up |
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Re: The Oponent
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 09:38:22 PM AEST
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I see nothing wrong with this.
Very good writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: The Oponent
(User Rating: 1 )
by nabokovfan87 on
Tuesday, 19th April 2005 @ 09:10:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is not because i hate you
it is simply the worlds revenge
I had to beat you at your own game
to properly avenge.
guess i liked that stanza. um noticed some needed changes although it is good like always it can be better. just mostly on the last like of the opening like 8 stanzas the line seems just longer then the rest. when you read it you can tell. other then that there are a lot of other liken that do the same thing. some advice for your next write might be to simply get to the point. dont beat around the bush with fancy words just get it out how you feel and get to the point as simply and quickly as possible. i think the stanza above portrays that advice nicely and althoigh the shortening of the third line would help it is still a good section. anyways. keep up the writing..... |
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