|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Another Slew Of Contradictions
Contributed by
iluvpencils
on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 11:43:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
My eyes open to shattered moonlight
Each ragged breath
Escaping with a gasp into the night
This is the last time
I'll lay here so still
This is my last try
At willing my lungs to fill
My torn up body rests so battered
Now, nothing matters
Past caring
Past fearing
All of my contradictions aren't worth hearing
I'm past being reasonable
Past everything but laying still
My heart beats slower
Through all this, I know
There's no making sense now
Not even to myself, no
My eyes close
Thrusting one last hope
Cast it out into the night
Praying to a god that isn't mine
I'm past giving up the fight
Copyright ©
iluvpencils
... [
2005-04-10 23:43:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Another Slew Of Contradictions
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 12:35:05 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Awesomely sad but well written.
huggs,
emy |
|
|
Re: Another Slew Of Contradictions
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 12:51:40 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
There is a lot I really like here, allow me to elaborate:
"This is the last time
I'll lay here so still
This is my last try
At willing my lungs to fill"
(brilliant , thought provoking lines)
and the "shattered... battered...nothing matters" is great as well. .. I almost might like to see that strong rhyme carried to the last stanza.
"Past everything but laying still"
- this is a strong line that I especially loved.
i liked the whole thing. It carries you through easily and doesn't give itself up on the first read. Great job!
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
