|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Tears in My Eyes
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 08:09:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Alone on the wall I stand
Remebering every time that I ran
Bleeding my ruthless pain
But knowing my life won't be in vein
In the dark corner I set
Shadowed by my every regret
Crieing my hated tears dry
But still knowing everything will be alright
On the rotted floor I lay
Trying to memorize my every bad note played
Slowly killing my worthless life of nothing
But still knowing it's only pain and suffering
My life ends when I thought it was all behind
Why did I denie my every sign?
Looking past it all, as though it would just go by
But in the end, In my corrupted mind always knew
I would die, With nothing but a broken heart
and tears in my eyes
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-04-11 20:09:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Tears in My Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 10:58:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| your ending and the last two lines of the third stanza made up for this piece. this piece was a little different from yours in the way that it wasnt as brilliant as it usually is. it just had the feel that you didnt care what you wrote or had no sense of what you were writing. this poem was empty of emotion, when it should have been full. i do not really like the second stanza. i liked the shadowed by every regret part, but the other three lines just couldnt compare with that lines greatness. i would say this is fine for someone other than you, but since it is you, i of course expect more. this reminds me of your conversation last night, quite a bit. i think you think more pessemistically than i, what a feat. please stay =] |
|
|
Re: Tears in My Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 03:17:54 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Well....
not quite sure what to say on this.
I know you can write better, but sometimes we all just need to express ourselves through one form or another...
I like the ending, as usual, quite powerful.
But....y'have to stay..
~kt |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
