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The Beginning...at Last
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:20:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The steady hate
That once tore me apart
Now forever gleams
The love that envelopes my heart
The drowning tears
That have built up inside of me
Now my serenade
Poured out in front of thee
The beaking lonliness
That numbed like death
Was peacefully corrupted
And inevitably left
The serrated Pain
That has shadowed my life
Forgotten and relinquished
Instead of my soul at night
The crippling aura
That marinated in my clotted blood
Now drifted away
Just like the raging flood
The visible misery
That once tainted my past
Paints and captures
The Beginning...at Last
...
My beloved love has came
And the hated hate...
Surpassed
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-04-12 21:20:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:24:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow clark! this is really good.
These feelings that you explained
are all too familiar to me
and i can totally relate.
Great write!
~Brenna~ |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:30:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is great poem..i love how u can relate to it in ur own words well keep writing |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:31:03 PM AEST
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| this is great poem..i love how u can relate to it in ur own words well keep writing |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:31:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is great poem..i love how u can relate to it in ur own words well keep writing |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 09:51:12 PM AEST
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| ::listens to comfortable liar:: i can see why you like this poem so much. you brought out what you love most in a poem: thought out verses, vocabulary, and rhymes. if you do this everytime, you might have greater faith in your abilities. i simply loved this. i wasnt a big fan of the last stanza though, because it didnt rhyme and afterall the whole experienced writer thing. but there is something about the ending that makes the piece unique, the entire tone changed, and i think thats excellent talent to change the tone in three lines. your next to last stanza was amazing. your others were also, but the next to the last one, just stood out to me. |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 03:06:42 AM AEST
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Okay.
*tries to look normal, n wipes the amazed expression off her face so that she can actually type something*
This is great, awesome, perfect! I love teh rhyme scheme, and the end stanza was very powerful.
Deep stuff.
~kt |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Sunday, 1st May 2005 @ 11:22:43 PM AEST
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| very nice!! great message that love conquers all! most amazing! |
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Re: The Beginning...at Last
(User Rating: 1 )
by Maxximus on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 06:08:39 PM AEST
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| We're all connected to life and we feel it's motions, it's currents. Like the currents we know in nature they also exist in ourselves- ever changing and random. The emotional contrast that was placed in this poem is well chosen, I liked it. Good read, I can relate to this piece... keep it up. |
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