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love
Contributed by
emobritt
on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 01:22:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I sometimes feel my heart will burst
from watching you so much
I cant explain in words of how
I long to feel your touch
there is no way to convey
this emptiness inside
that seems to tear my soul to shreds
as time goes swiftly by
if I could merely hold you near
for just a little while
if I could simply talk with you
or only see your smile
to have you look into my eyes
and want to hear you say
something that will help
to talk all this pain away
if I have to wait 4ever
I guess thats what ill do
for me it would be worth it
to finally be with you
this emptiness inside
Copyright ©
emobritt
... [
2005-04-23 13:22:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 04:33:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm not quite sure that your last line fits, and I'm sorry but using numbers in poetry lessens the poem, in my opinion.
Other than that though, it's a good write.
I like the second stanza best.
Good write,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: love
(User Rating: 1 )
by forgottenone_iam on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 10:26:15 PM AEST
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| i loved your poem it reminds me of a guy i used to be in love with so dearly and then he left me but, i still love him and i havent seen him in a year, and i wish i could see him keep writing |
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