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Deceit
Contributed by
smiley_jennyxoxo
on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 09:05:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I just hate life now
Its been deceiving
I cant understand how
Youre not believing
Anything that I have to say
You just dont know, how it hurts so
Im never going to be okay
Without a peace between us, to let go
How can this be happening?
My world was once happy and free
Now its become sad and confusing
Without you here with me
I just cant even see
How I can possibly be real
We got along so happily
Until my decision, so surreal
I couldnt believe I made that
Decision, then I was so blind
I wish you can understand that
Im sorry and that I find
That youre still in my heart
You can still make me happy
I just want my life to start
Over again, I feel so crappy
Without you as a part of it
Id never do anything
With another person, in the pit
Of my heart, its nothing
But you mean something
That I considered special
I would give up anything
For you to come again, your facial
Expressions have told me
That youve been hurt all along
I would like us to be
Together, for our time was long
Now it has dwindled
I am just here, crimpled
Copyright ©
smiley_jennyxoxo
... [
2005-04-23 21:05:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Deceit
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wild_Flame on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 11:11:47 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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your poem is good but lacks structure, you need to add to its deeper meaning by given it more of a stanza/form. try to make eveything in the poem a reflection of how you feel, make the whole thing expressive and not just the words.
goodluck with it. |
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