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age
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 09:28:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
one day after the other
and it all seems so small
so insignificant
not something you really think about at all
until you wake up and you're thirty
and it's just a slap in the face
as you find you have nothing to show
for the time that you've wasted
sure, there were good times
and alot of wild nights
but aside from the scars
and those wrinkles you (try to) ignore
you haven't really changed
in any way you're proud of
and you spend the next ten years
wondering what the hell you're gonna do about it
and then BAM, you're forty
time for a tattoo or a motorcycle
or a younger lover
anything to take your mind of that damn number
and those days that seemed to drag by as a kid
are flying by so fast now that you just wanna cry
everything is here and gone so fast
and the feelings of permanancy that you used to feel
about so many things
aren't there to comfort you anymore
but it's ok
fifty is still around the corner
and you just keep thinking that
until it's on you like a predator
and you never see the futility of your struggle
the comb-over that doesn't hide the bald spot
the plastic surgery that can't hide the age in your eyes
every time eating effort you can imagine
snatched and utilized to ward off the inevitable
and now friends and family start dying
the circle of memories gets smaller
and you find yourself reminiscing alone
and you're too old for drugs
and alcohol just makes you sick
so you're forced to face the mirror sober
with fewer friends around
to tell you that you can barely notice those crow's feet
sixty
you want to cry out for help
as ridiculous as it sounds
but you don't wanna seem childish
and besides, the friends that are still alive
aren't behaving this way
but you can see it in their eyes
the desperation
the dawning of the terrible truth
you're already halfway There
things start slipping your mind
those lost car keys would've just been annoying
twenty years ago
but now they're just another reminder
of the only thing you can't forget
seventy
you try to stay active
to keep your wits about you
and to keep your kids from dumping you
in a nursing home
you remember how sad and pitiful
those old people looked when you were young
but it's not so funny anymore
and your grandkids are getting old enough
to have kids of your own
and the babies will be such a joy
but those happy little faces
are just another guise for the reminders
eighty
everything hurts
and if it doesn't hurt
you can't feel it anymore anyway
it almost makes you laugh
to think of what sex would do to your body now
but then again
it almost makes you cry
you've outlived almost all your friends
and your kids and grandkids
are the only family you've got left
sitting in front of the tv
smiling
remembering summers spent in the sun
remembering young love
remembering.....
then you fall asleep again
ninety
it's too much work to worry now
you've resigned yourself
to the quiet dread of a deathrow inmate
you don't sleep much anymore
just lie awake thinking
tearfully grateful for the memories
that haven't been erased
yet
then to the hospital
to suffer the cruel indignites
of whatever hateful health problem
set it's sights on you
fluid in your lungs
the weight on your chest
the family (what's left of it) gathered around your bed
and they try to hide it
but you can see the tears in their eyes
and you smile
it's been a good life
but you still can't ignore
the twang of bitterness you feel
you weren't supposed to die
that wasn't part of the deal
and now here it is
you can feel it
(you're just going to take a short nap
then tell them all to go home
you'll be fine
but even as you close your eyes
you know you'll never open them again
you feel warm all over
a tingling numb, like your whole body went to sleep
a sound in your ears like wind
and the final pain, as your body let's go)
your mind going out
the memories that have become your life
dimming, getting blurry
there is no feeling now
no bitterness or sorrow
just you in the Void
becoming Nothing
burning the last of your existence away
with the happiness you finally feel
for all the time you had
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2005-04-24 21:28:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: age
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ravensfire on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 11:07:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your words more than any I've read here touched me in ways I never knew existed, truly heart felt. |
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Re: age
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 11:54:25 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
well gee this was a most happy poem lol. I
liked it although it kind of made me feel
hopeless and depressed. Keep up the
amazing writing buddy.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: age
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 01:53:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Except for the authors note, I liked it. The thing about looking forward to this *****es me off for some reason. Throughout the poem the protagonist is longing for the old days, unhappy that he still isn't youthful. Well, ***** that. Everyone has their time and need to age gracefully; don't ***** about getting old. He should be happy that he wasn't raped and killed at 9 by a demented psycho. Then at the end, when he dies, he finally feels grateful for his experiences. Its as if he wouldn't accept his age until he was absolutely forced to by death. ***** him. I'm not insulting your work, its brilliantly written, I just hate the kind of people you're writing about. People should look back upon their with joy, not ***** envy. |
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Re: age
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on
Saturday, 11th March 2006 @ 12:16:40 AM AEST
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its been a while since i've read your work, and yet it is still so amazingly powerful. it starts out so dark, but still has such a peaceful end. keep writing ~Apryl
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