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Building Up Inside
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Friday, 29th April 2005 @ 09:08:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The anger is overwhelming
I feel like I am drowning
In this anger and hate I live in
I must have done some great sin
To cause the anger and pain
To spread through my veins
I am angry every day
I guess it just is that way
Building up inside me
Until I just want to scream
Piling high inside
Locked up inside
I cant take it any more
I have become numb and sore
I want to cry
No, I want to die
These feelings are too high
But, no one else cares, so why should I?
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-04-29 21:08:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Building Up Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 09:19:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| first of all, great ending line. truely one of the greats. this was a good piece all in all. the only thing that took away from it being better were that some of the rhymes seemed to forced to work well the the piece. also you rhymed the same word with the same word which is basically a poetry no no, at least to me. it makes me think there was lack of creativity in the verse and not enough time spent to think of a better word. very well done piece though. i myself have anger problems and letting myself drown in sorrows, etc. |
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