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Fatality Forsaken
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 07:46:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
What an infinite burden of pain
That lay upon my back
Forever pleading happiness
Burning lies of black
Bruised and bloodied fingertips
A cold and blackened heart
These feelings of emptiness
Slowly tear me apart
My pupils widen in the darkness
Adjusting to the guilt
Impossible to break down
These concrete walls Ive built
Holding in these emotions
Of desperation and despair
Death finally becomes me
Life is never fair
The fatality of my anguish
Digs so deep within my skin
Never forgive for Im forsaken
I dwell into my sin
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-05-03 19:46:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 07:55:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This one's especially good---you have a real knack for poetry. I like your wordplay, I really like the line 'the fatality of my anguish...' Read some of my works if you get a chance. |
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 08:12:37 PM AEST
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| awsome poem as always, but don't dwell in it it only makes it worse...think positive |
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by mexicomama33 on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 10:43:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great poem your words just flow i recently posted my poem depression and despair check it out i think you will get it. once again amazing work |
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 06:47:49 AM AEST
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| This was a good write as always. It was worded so well and flows so smooth it really keep your heart and mind in to the emotions. Good write and yet another awesome read. Take care and I look forward to more writes as always…..Steve |
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 09:41:02 PM AEST
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| i really could relate to what you said about walls. when i was a freshman, there were enough things going on in my life that i built up walls, too. you recognize that they are tough to break down, and while i certainly sympathize with why they are there, and moreover, why they are necessary, i need to say that the longer they are, the harder they become to circumvent in the future. carrying heavy walls into your 20s... and beyond... well, i do not think you want that. let them help you, certainly, but do not let them imprison you, because walls can work two ways. |
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Re: Fatality Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by nick_is_no_poet on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 07:06:49 PM AEST
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| i have to say this is my favourite poem, its wicked i love the way you describe your emotions and emphasize them without over doing it!!!
i have to say again your a genius |
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