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fractures
Contributed by
bttrflynajar
on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 11:07:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
so many unread letters
burn in a furnace of anxiety
will you ever miss me?
your eyes are shining
in the excitment of what we used to be
your voice trembles... spilling through your familiar lips
...those words that cant go unsaid...
the r's roll over your tongue.....
......and flow through my ears
....i need a second to put my chaos back in order ...
"friends"
............i'll be just fine
.. you were never completely mine...
with your heart on your sleeve
you cry with me for relief.
i see the blood flow from the cracks...
..i wonder why your heart is breaking
its my delicate heart that should be aching...
Copyright ©
bttrflynajar
... [
2005-05-06 23:07:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: fractures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 11:21:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This poem grabbed my attention and drew me in!! It is unique and well written . I love it.
Leia |
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Re: fractures
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 11:51:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i agree with leia, this poem grabbed my attention and its just so orginal
i love the way you have spaced it out and the flow is great and i think i understand the pain u are tryin to potray.
isn't it terrible when the one you love just wants to be "friends" thats the worst word in the world!
and i totally agree with the last stanza
"..i wonder why your heart is breaking
its my delicate heart that should be aching..."
AMAZING line and i can relate very much
over all, excellent! |
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Re: fractures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 12:23:45 AM AEST
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perhaps i've been watching too many sappy animes lately, but this reads like a sappy anime script! not sappy bad, just drenched in emotion and laced with unanswered questions... pretty pretty write...
~Remy~ |
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