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A letter to Daddy
Contributed by
hooray_its_jen
on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 09:24:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Daddy,
They say that faith can move mountains. Can it? The faith of every person who knew you wasn't enough to give you any more time with us. So can the faith of one person really move a mountain?
When mom took us into the kitchen to have a "family talk" and she told us about the heart attack, the hopes I had for you were so high. At some point they became expectations. After all, how could God say no? All we wanted was for him to give you a little more time. It's not like we were asking him to move a mountain or anything like that. I figured, when the time came for you leave us, I would be ready. I got through Courtney's death, and if I did it once I could do it twice -- and this time I would get through it in record time. Because as the saying goes, practice makes perfect.
When you died, it didn't sink in. And before I felt anything -- the anger, the confusion, the hopelessness -- I felt numb. The worst feeling in the world is to not feel anything at all, to stare blankly out the window, knowing you're gone but not knowing whether I should break down crying or choose not to accept the fact that I'll never get to see you again.
Somehow, I feel like life isn't real anymore. It's almost like I'm standing back watching everyone else live their lives, while mine comes to a complete stop.
It's now that I realize how much I've lost. I lost hope. I lost my ability to talk and laugh and breathe, the way I used to when I actually felt alive, when the world was real to me and I felt my heart beat every day. I lost myself. I lost my strength. But most of all, I lost you.
You're gone.
I still miss you. I still cry myself to sleep each night. And the emptiness I feel is nothing but proof of the fact that faith can move mountains, but it wasn't good enough to save your life. I love you Daddy.
Love, Jenna
Copyright ©
hooray_its_jen
... [
2005-05-07 09:24:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A letter to Daddy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 09:40:11 AM AEST
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Oh Jen..this is so beautifully done... Your sadness permeates the entire poem.....
Hugs
Jen |
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Re: A letter to Daddy
(User Rating: 1 )
by death_not_be_feared on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 10:19:31 AM AEST
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This is really awesome you inspire me greatly thank you so much.
Love Savannah |
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Re: A letter to Daddy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 02:57:53 AM AEST
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lovely write Jenna..i'm so sorry for your loss, all I can say Jenna is,,
Loved ones never really leave us
they never really depart
if you want to see your dad
just look inside your heart.. |
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Re: A letter to Daddy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elisabeth on
Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 12:13:51 PM AEST
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I was thrilled to see your comments and message, that I finally read today! Anyhow, I know its been a while since you posted this poem, and you even wrote in your explanation that you had changed since writing this poem. Nevertheless, I just felt like I should say that He doesn't answer us when we feel like He should. He answers us when we NEED to be answered. Your father's earthly journey had ended, but at the lose of many loved ones. He's on to better and mysterious things now. I felt like your pain was more like from guilt for not being who you have desired to be for so long. Just keep your head up, and remember just how precious life is. Live each day as it is your last. You will be filled with so much peace no matter what trial may come if you do. Anyhow, I really enjoyed reading this. Sorry so long.
Elisabeth |
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