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Tear Silhouetted Pain
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 08:25:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Tear Silhouetted Pain
The shadow bleeds darkness
From its silhouetted veins,
And the blood's coldness
No longer numbs pain.
The shadow dies
With the light's
Belated lies
Of why
It's love
Is now dead
With the blood
Of what was said
Never remembered as
Anything, but as a shadow
Of a reflection of you in glass
Now lost in a pool of your shallow
Tear drops of blood tainted fragments.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-09 20:25:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 08:34:31 PM AEST
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Ah..jen, I love your poem here, as always, but your display of the lines in this one is perfect, I love it..Very well done Jen
~Clark |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 08:36:25 PM AEST
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| awsome poem, really brilliant |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 08:47:17 PM AEST
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A lonely peice of writting by a magnificent poet who's heart is simple and true and as
always generous with her emotions . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 09:22:56 PM AEST
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| This is an awesome poem, do you remember yet? Respected writings of both types, respected artists, of both. Heh. |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheVoice on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 09:56:12 PM AEST
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Nothing but the best from the best!
The Voice
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 11:01:45 PM AEST
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Truly brilliant.....i absolutely loved it....great work
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 03:29:04 AM AEST
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| Excellent piece of art...it is astounding. venkat |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 06:20:49 PM AEST
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| Well this one was good, nicely arranged. The message was quite strong, but it doesn't seem that properly delivered. I noticed that the entire poem is made up of two sentences, and that last sentence seemed to run on for too long. While the arrangement is quite nice, and falls into line with the whole mirror imagery, but the words weren't used to the same kind of advantage, when they could have been matching what the poem's shape was saying, or vice versa. You used the word "blood" a lot too, as well as "of", and at one point you used it twice in the same line, which was kind of distracting. I absolutely loved the ending though, which shows the final, somewhat pathetic result of all the goings-on in the poem, due to that reference to a "shallow" pool of tear drops. Mirror poems are sort of touchy for me, and the poem was good in general, but some of it just didn't seem to sit well with me is all. |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 04:13:42 PM AEST
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My goodness!!! What are you up to now??
Subltry, deep and artistic??!!!
Amazed again....as usual. |
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Re: Tear Silhouetted Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 12:23:07 AM AEST
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I thought this poem was rather confusing for
some reason, but I must interject I loved the
seemingly random messed up line structure
and then I realized it wasn't random at all
which impressed me even more. The last
line was interesting and the imagery in
conveyed in my head was that of shattered
glass with blood all over it. *shrugs*
Awesome write here Jen.
Bobo (Joel) |
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