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Ashes (Revised)
Contributed by
CrimsonTears
on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 10:48:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
From dusk to dawn ashes fall like rain
A blanket of everything I once knew
With blurred vision I try to move on
But as all my fears fall around me, I am lost
Whispered words long forgotten
Haunt my mind and break my soul
My own memories taunting me
Playing with my emotions, still I proceed
Deep into the darkness of all that is left
Unaware of what lies beyond my sight
I cry out for some means of comfort
But I remain unheard, among the ashes
Like this wasteland, I have become empty
Filled only with the ashes of everything I once knew
My body aches more with each step that I take
But I am not yet ready to give into the pain
Copyright ©
CrimsonTears
... [
2005-05-09 22:48:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ashes (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 01:09:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| A lot of emotion went into this write...Good Job! Scorp. |
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Re: Ashes (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 01:53:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great style, very sad... lonliness just emanates here... hugs n' love, nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Ashes (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 21st May 2005 @ 11:14:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this an awful lot. It.... feels incredibly familiar, relatable. It is, I think, the way that you chose to present it that I like the most... vague, but not overly so to anyone that has perhaps found themselves in a similar situation. It is both, then, incredibly telling and a bit opaque --- perfectly so, in my opinion.
Nicely done! Keep writing... and yes, keep stepping forward - it is all, I think, we can do.
Impressed,
~Snemmy~ |
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Re: Ashes (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elayner27 on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 10:00:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow I love your writing. I like your word choices and how you put them. It reminds me of something I might write and feel.
Elayna |
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Re: Ashes (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenheartsbleed on
Wednesday, 30th November 2005 @ 11:39:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great poem. i can really relate to it. lot of emotions and yea...haha its great. |
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