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More Than I Can Dream Of
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 08:18:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
More Than I Can Dream Of
My beloved brother
Has died to save me
And our mother
To always be
More than I can dream of
With the gift of his love
To never be forgotten
While forever fallen.
He has died within me
With the death of his love.
His memory is like a dream
That I forget more of,
And that is the tragedy
Of watering the tree of liberty.
That is the price to be paid
To induce more pain
With flowers placed
On a forgotten grave.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-10 20:18:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 08:28:58 PM AEST
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can only be forgotten if you let him
kc |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 08:32:31 PM AEST
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Beautiful ending Jen, as always, amazing post and talent from you..
~Clark |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 09:51:20 PM AEST
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A seriously beautiful poem with deep meaning and heart felt compassion,
of course as usual your in magnificent form . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 10:59:01 PM AEST
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A beautiful rendition and tribute to a fallen loved one....perhaps "flowers placed ..."On a forgotten grave" , means gone , but not forgotten.
Very moving and touching piece
Will |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 01:28:37 AM AEST
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"that is the tragedy of watering the tree of liberty, that is the price to be paid"..it speaks volumes...He can't be forgotten..very beautiful & deeply moving write..venkat
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 05:03:17 AM AEST
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Jen, this was such a well writen peice. I just love the way you write.
Jane |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 05:26:06 AM AEST
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What an amazing write.....very well done...
Jenni |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 04:48:18 PM AEST
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Jen remarkable as always. Written from the depths of the heart. An oustanding well conveyed piece of poetry. Nothing less to what i expected from u. Well done.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 06:29:31 PM AEST
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| This is one of the best titles I think I've ever seen from you, I just loved it. The poem was a lot better though, lol. Mind if I say I really liked that "forgotten grave" conclusion? Cause I do! That second to last stanza was also something that really built up your ending, rather than simply throwing it onto the readers based on supposition and any allusion that could be stretching it. I've seen that happen a heck of a lot today (not by you though! lol), and I'm glad I can come to your poems for this kind of quality. Excellent job here, your words were quite heavy with meaning. |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 08:24:37 PM AEST
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Sweet and so sad....and beautiful. A wonderful write.
Carol |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 11:22:03 PM AEST
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This is brilliant, powerful, deeply thought provoking. It seems the Tree of Liberty can only be fed with blood for the lives of the heroes that fall to protect it.
Brilliant,
Rita |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 09:58:19 PM AEST
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Im so sorry for your loss...
and I commend him for dying
for the right to be free!!
awesome poem!
M.O.H.
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 02:33:38 AM AEST
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beautifully written, excellent poem, it is all so sad this war....... hugs n' love, nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 04:10:03 PM AEST
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I amazed at the depth that this one comes from. and at your ability to convey that depth to the reader.
Wowed indeed! |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 07:10:39 PM AEST
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Deeply powerful and touching words. I admire the way you bring so much meaning into simple and spartan language.
Blessings be to you.
Andrew |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 14th May 2005 @ 03:05:25 AM AEST
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This was really heart breaking and emotionally powerful.
You do know how to knock people off thier socks lol. amazing qrite as always Jen.
Jane xxx |
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Re: More Than I Can Dream Of
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 03:17:47 AM AEST
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I think I like the third stanza best, besides the incredible ending. Again, I feel mixed emotions in this piece, and a fierce loyalty as well...
if that makes sense. Definitely more going on between the lines in this write. I enjoyed it immensely : )
Scorp. |
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