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Fold
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 11:00:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
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The King of Spades has dug my grave
Queen stole my heart, it cant be saved
The one eyed Jack wants his other eye back
Hard as Diamonds is the Ace
Tempted now to make a stand
Bet that a ten completes my hand
Discard the eight, wish for a straight
And dreams that I can chase
But as with any game of chance
You pay to play, and pray to dance
And hope that by some circumstance
Today might be your day
Now look into my empty hands
Theres nothing left to hold
All my cards are on the table
All I can do is fold
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-05-10 23:00:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 03:00:10 AM AEST
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And what a brilliant analogy.
Original and highly creative.
Symbolically rich, further conjuring inquisitiveness in regards to deeper meanings and hidden notions.
Excellent personification and metaphoric significance, I am most impressed by this piece!
An excellent rhyme/flow scheme, might I add!
Some interesting points made, which seem lik personal philosophies.
You began boldly and remained consistently powerful in expression right until the very last word.
Loved it. |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:21:42 PM AEST
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Wow!! Great write!!
Romanticist said it all....
Jenni |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 03:18:07 PM AEST
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Flawless, as always. A surreal and creative way of looking at life, loved it! Wish I had more to say, but the words just aren't coming, lol. I'm with Romanticist on this one. Beautiful, somber tune, simply magnificent. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, cheri Naz. All my love. Forever,
Your petite fleur,
Stephy! *hugs* |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 06:48:41 PM AEST
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Naz,
Very clever use of integrating a deck of cards
into a message about life. I guess laying all our cards on the table and folding is saying I have done everything I can do. Now what ever will be will be....Didn't Doris Day record that song by that name.
Just as a thought my friend, you might want to keep an ace in the whole :)
Well done, and again very creative
Will, Terry |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th May 2005 @ 09:05:40 AM AEST
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I like this analogy!!!
But don't fold!!!!
Bluff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heheheh...wonderful write Nazzy!!! |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 03:19:56 PM AEST
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Indeed, this do be a good analogy, and well presented. Couple that with stellar rhyme and such, and it makes for very good reading! Nice work, my friend.
Andrew |
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Re: Fold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 12:04:22 PM AEST
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Oh well, I guess you just play another hand. :-)
Seriously though, this is a good write - makes me think of "The Gambler" too. I guess we all are, after a fashion, but you can make good use of the metaphor, while I would find it too confining to explain *my* life. heh. I haven't figured out the rules yet either - only a few.
Nice write, my friend.
J.
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