|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Better and New
Contributed by
breny
on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 11:15:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
the pain in your eyes
I see in my own
It's in your voice
when we talk on the phone
I know that you love him
and he still loves you
but I think you realize
that you guys are through
I know that it's hard
and it hurts really bad
but it's better than him
always making you sad
You helped me throught it
now I can help you
we will be better than ever
and start our lives new
I know how you're feeling
that pain is my friend
he sucks your world dry
and tries to make it end
But you are strong
and you'll make it through
you won't let a boy
make your world blue
its his loss, not yours
and he'll soon realize
that you can do better
there are plenty of guys
he will spend his nights lonely
always thinking of you
and you will move on
to something better and new
Copyright ©
breny
... [
2005-05-10 23:15:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 01:08:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
hi
i know exactly how u feel,beautiful poem.You're so caring,and i've gone through the same,can't let your friend fall.Its tears you apart right.well,i wish the best for you two and might as well tell her "it takes both rain and sun to make a rainbow",she will make it through.When you fall you have to get back up and get stronger,it's a fall in life,seems like the greates but you can't let it eat u up in the ground...t/c,bye.
love always,
andrea |
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 06:26:47 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Brenna, this was such a sweet write. I love the tenderness of this.
I do have a little suggestion in this line which is great but it needed something.
You helped me throught it
now I can help you
we will be better than ever
and start our lives new
I would say:
You helped me throught it
now I can help you
we will be better than ever
and start our lives anew
Hope that was okay lol *smiles weakly*
Jane xxx |
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 10:28:21 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Beautiful poem magnificent wisdom u have aqquired, yes deffinately his loss as was in your case, reiterate, magnificent wisdom 4
one so young . . .
Dorian Chambers |
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 01:48:04 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
The sentiment behind the words is what I really love about this. The way you know what she is going through is what really brings that out.
Great job! |
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 09:42:07 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
What a nice way to let your friend know that you can empathize with her pain! Good job! You're a good friend too.
Carol |
|
|
Re: Better and New
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 29th June 2005 @ 11:59:17 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Spectacular stuff! I'm sorry I never got to read this one before, cause it's really something. I hope things have gotten better for both of you since the time of writing this, and I just loved the way you expressed yourself and the situation in this poem. You've got a skill in portraying things exactly the way they are, and at the same time putting it all into a sympathetic rhyme. Excellent stuff Brenna! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
